We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
