i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I touched a dick in church today
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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