The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
