idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
