but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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