I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
