Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
