haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize