i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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