I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
