And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
