It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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