your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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