I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
