so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
