If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
