am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
