He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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