I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
