Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
