In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
