so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
