I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
