She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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