The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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