just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
