so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
