chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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