How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
