"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
