i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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