He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
