i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
