I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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