well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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