apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
