you would pick up someone in the library
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
