There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
