What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
