If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
