i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
