im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
