Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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