Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His nipple licking is glorious
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