do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
and you fell through a lawn chair
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
