ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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