My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just gargled with NyQuil
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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