Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
