Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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