dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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