after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
