I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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