dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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