First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
