yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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