I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Randomize
