oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize