I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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