Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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