you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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