Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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