I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He has the fingertips of a God
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
