I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
