It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
