garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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