the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
