just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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