so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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