I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
